Here's a poser for you. See if you can fill in the blanks with the correct words for these sentences:
1. This is a woman _____ I feel is capable of handling the job.
(a) who
(b) whom
2. This is a woman _____ I consider capable.
(a) who
(b) whom
At first blush, it might seem to you that the answer in both cases is "whom." But you'd be wrong to think so. Look carefully at sentence #1, and you'll see a nearly-hidden parenthetical expression there: the phrase (actually a clause) I feel. You can imagine that phrase surrounded by commas, yes? Which means, further, that you can imagine that phrase being removed from the sentence without changing the sentence's basic meaning. Try it out:
This is a woman _____ is capable of handling the job.
By now, it should be obvious that the relative pronoun who-- answer (a)-- belongs in the first sentence:
This is a woman who I feel is capable of handling the job. (original version)
This is a woman who is capable of handling the job. (without parenthetical)
This is a woman who, I feel, is capable of handling the job. (parenthetical with commas)
With the commas in place, it's a lot easier to see why we should use who, right?
Let's turn to sentence #2. Do you see any such parentheticals? No? Then the relative pronoun whom belongs in that blank, because whom is the object of the verb consider. To wit:
This is a woman whom I consider capable.
You can't remove the phrase I consider without doing considerable damage to the sentence:
This is a woman whom capable.
Freakish, mutant sentence. I consider is not a parenthetical.
See whether you can figure out what belongs in each of the following sentences. Answers are listed after the exercises; highlight to see them.
1. She's the only team member _____ I trust completely.
(a) who
(b) whom
2. Harold and Kumar are the ones _____ ate the Christmas cookies.
(a) who
(b) whom
3. Harold and Kumar are the ones _____ I'm convinced should run for president and vice president.
(a) who
(b) whom
4. Of all the people _____ I consider to be possible replacements, Alfredo strikes me as the most qualified.
(a) who
(b) whom
5. I won't go out with a woman _____ thinks I'm an idiot. Unless she's rich.
(a) who
(b) whom
6. I won't go out with a woman for _____ I'm a mere love slave.
(a) who
(b) whom
7. He's the one _____ , after I hit his cousin, chased me across the country on a riding mower.
(a) who
(b) whom
ANSWERS (highlight to see): 1 = B; 2 = A; 3 = A; 4 = B; 5 = A; 6 = B; 7 = A.
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